10 Things Twilight Teaches Teenage Boys about Girls

I love Spoutblog's lists! Really, if boys want to learn something about teenage girls, they should read the books and watch this movie. Kevin Kelly lists 10 reasons:

Girls Like Boys Who Ignore Them

When Edward first sees Bella in class, he stiffens up like he’s smelled a dead skunk and avoids her like the plague. Days go by and he doesn’t return to class, but she searches for him every day. Finally, when he does come back, he alternates between being nice to her, and telling her she shouldn’t be friends with him. It ends up driving Bella nuts, which is maybe what he wanted all along. Next time you see a girl you’re interested in, make sure she catches your eye, then act like she repulses you and you should be well on your way.

Girls Like Boys Who Are Mysterious

It’s important to maintain an air of mystery about yourself, and not come in all blundering like cheerful dork Mike Newton in the movie. The guy is an open book, and as a result Bella is bored by him. The only thing that catches her fancy at the new school is the bunch of aloof, slightly goth students who mosey in with tons of hair product looking like they wandered off the campus of a private school. Don’t let people know about your past, sulk around, and randomly break off during conversations and walk away. You’ll be a man of mystery.

Girls Want Sex Just As Much As Boys Do

This one shatters an age-old myth that guys just want to get in girls’ pants. Let me tell you, girls want to get in your pants just as badly. Bella definitely tries to put the moves on Edward, and she pursues him a lot harder than he pursues her. There’s no discussion about waiting for an appropriate time or making sure the moment is extra special. No, she just wants to get him out of those clothes and get busy. Not to say that Bella’s a slut, because she’s actually a pretty chaste girl. But she definitely wouldn’t mind getting Edward in the sack for some extra-curricular activities.

Girls Like Boys Who Can Resist The Urge

Whether that urge is to suck your blood or go all the way in bed, girls love a guy with self-restraint, and it also goes back to the whole “ignore her and it’ll drive her crazy” tip near the top of this list. Edward and Bella have one fairly intense makeout scene in this movie. They’re up in Bella’s bed, and she’s in her panties. Things get hot and heavy and suddenly Edward flies backwards and slams into the wall. He knows he has to be careful with her or he’ll probably tear her to shreds. Instead of getting naked and going for it, he just lays next to her and watches her sleep.

I definitely agree that the key to that scene is that Bella wanted to go further, and it's Edward who stops the action -- by slamming himself back into the wall. Mormon values about premarital sex, Stephenie?

Read the rest here on Spoutblog!

Movies Scenes to Put You in an Autumn Mood

Spoutblog gives us 10 Movie Scenes to put us all in an Autumn mood. The leaves have started to turn in my neighborhood, but the weather hasn't turned crisp yet. Here's a few of my favorite scenes from their ten:
Far From Heaven. This film is just gorgeous!

Monster House. I've never seen this whole movie, just bits and pieces. The opening reminds me of Forrest Gump, which was probably intentional as Robert Zemeckis was a producer of this film.

And finally Cary Grant being horny in a cemetery full of falling leaves in Arsenic and Old Lace. Spooky with romance! About at the six minute mark:

See the rest of Spoutblog's ten Autumn scenes here.

Preparing for Global Financial Apocalypse: Seven Lessons from the Movies

Spoutblog has a great article on some pertinent tips for us as we're facing an uncertain world, and events of historic proportions.

Before you violently horde every morsel of food from your local supermarket or begin a hostile take-over of your corner gas station, there are several movies you should watch in order to prepare for life after the downfall of Western civilization. There have been plenty of films in which the world we know is nothing but a burned out shell of its former glory. Nuclear holocaust and virulent plagues are common Earth-clearing disasters, but there’s no reason to think that a global economic collapse would be any less destructive. Let’s not forget that one of history’s most common causes for war is a desperate grab for resources during tough times. So without further ado, seven lessons from the movies, essential for surviving our impending doom:

1. Hoard gasoline!

Plenty of people are already getting a jump on this one, apparently upping demand to the point where falling oil prices are not translating to the pump. If you think waiting 15 minutes in line to buy gas at $4.50 a gallon is bad, watch The Road Warrior again. From the opening sequence where Mel Gibson gingerly harvests every precious ounce of fuel from an abandoned vehicle to the final deadly battle over a tanker truck, it’s clear that in a post-apocalyptic world, gas is gold. Sure, we’re working on becoming less dependent on the stuff, but what good is a Chevy Volt going to do you if the power grid is in shambles?

2. Learn a trade that’s useful regardless of available technology!

Farmers, builders, doctors, these people will always be useful, even if your society’s currency consists only of the teeth of your enemies. If your skill set is of a less practical variety, don’t worry, people will still need entertainment. One good model is Kevin Costner’s character in The Postman. Before he takes on the titular role as a letter carrier, he makes his way from town to town as a traveling minstrel. The Pony Express-style mailman gig he eventually gets is a good job as well, but it tends to be quite dangerous

The rest are

3. Do not take a job at a butcher shop!
4. If you are fertile, be careful with your precious seed!
5. For God’s sake, save the library!
6. If you live in a temperate climate, head South!

and my favorite:

7. If given the opportunity to travel back in time to thwart the collapse of civilization, do not fall in love!

If you are the one chosen to save humanity via time travel, it’s important to avoid the retro sex appeal possessed by the single people of the past. This is no time for love! Two films illustrate this, one is a remake of the other. The 1962 French short film La Jetée uses a montage of stunningly beautiful black and white stills to tell the story of a time traveler distracted from his mission by romance. It’s one part French New Wave, one part killer sci-fi, and an absolute classic. Terry Gilliam expanded the story with his 1995 adaptation, 12 Monkeys. If you’ve seen either film you know that the missions to the past are not exactly successful, although it’s debatable whether or not romance is to blame. Nevertheless, if the future of humanity is in your hands, stay on task!

Read the rest of the article here.
Stay on task, gang! Chin up, and go watch a comedy.