If I can't have Simon Pegg, I'm ecstatic for Michael Fassbender

Simon Pegg pulled out of Quentin Tarantino's Inglorious Bastards, citing scheduling difficulties since Quentin wants to start filming this fall. I was very sad to hear that news, as Simon is one of my favorites. Hot Fuzz? Shaun of the Dead? He rules!

But this morning, I get this news which has me doing cartwheels. Variety Reports:

Teutonic thesp Michael Fassbender is in final negotiations to join the cast of Quentin Tarantino’s "Inglorious Bastards."

Simon Pegg had been in talks for the role (Lt. Archie Hicox), but was forced to ankle after what he described on his website as "insurmountable scheduling difficulties."

Brad Pitt has signed on for the lead role as a Tennessee hillbilly who assembles a team of eight Jewish-American soldiers to take on the Nazis. Also on board are Mike Myers and Eli Roth. Tarantino is courting Nastassja Kinski, David Krumholtz and B.J. Novak.

Role would arguably be the highest-profile yet for Fassbender, who has begun to draw comparisons to Daniel Day-Lewis for his intense dedication to his work. Thesp emaciated himself to play Sands in the latter stages of his hunger strike.

Fassbender is also attached to play the iconic role of Heathcliff in "Wuthering Heights."

Whoo Hoo!! This is fantastic news for Michael (and me)!

Mike Myers is also cast in Inglorious Bastards. Here's hoping he won't ruin it!

No Love for Love Guru

I haven't seen a movie savaged like the reviews for Love Guru in some time. Mike Myers has a reputation for being difficult, and one wonders if this movie is truly this awful, or there is a little bit of payback here.

Here's a sampler:

NY Times:

"The Love Guru" is downright antifunny, an experience that makes you wonder if you will ever laugh again.

Chicago Tribune:

The character of Pitka is enough for a recurring "Saturday Night Live" sketch, if the episodes were typical "SNL" sketch length. But we're talking 15 or 20 minutes of decent material. The movie runs a little longer than that.

NY Post:

THE Love Guru" is even funnier than "Wayne's World" or "Austin Powers." Not. If this movie were a president, it would be Tedious Roosevelt.

Variety:

"The Love Guru" is so relentlessly juvenile as to merit a new twist on the PG-13 rating -- one that strongly cautions not only those under 13 but anyone much above it, too.

And just in case you think it's only high-brow critics who hate it, here is what Harry Knowles of Ain't It Cool has to say:

Unfuckingbelievably unspeakably awful. THE LOVE GURU is astonishingly rancid. There's a part of me, that wants THE LOVE GURU to make like 75 Million opening weekend. Why? So that the entire - giant film going audience marks Mike Myers' death as a comedian.

Reviews of this film are nearly universally grotesquely negative - and with good reason. With this film, Myers puts a shotgun in the mouth of comedy and kills it. This isn't merely a bad film, but a painful experience that you keep telling yourself to leave. However, I have a very strong belief in witnessing the terror. People had to survive the Holocaust to hold those responsible, responsible. This film isn't as bad as the Holocaust. Nothing could be. But in the realm of film going experiences - it's a third trimester abortion. It is a pregnant woman smoking a cigarette and drinking a Coors Light.

Well, alrighty then. Guess I won't be running out to see it this weekend!