Breaking News: Bird stuck in Tree!

From Wonkette:
A Nation Challenged: CNN Covers Bird 'Stuck' In Tree
Wonkette tipster "M.K." sends this ridiculous screenshot from CNN.com, with a note: "The attached Word doc has a lovely screen capture of their late-breaking news (bird stuck in tree) .... Please, for the sweet love of Jeebus, make fun of these troglodytes who have managed to dumb down what seemed already pretty dumb." Listen, "M.K.," if that is your real name, if you can't appreciate the importance of the pelican-in-a-tree story, we may well have to ask if you're wearing a little flag pin.